Waiting in the cold
by disfigured-dream
Summary: mild shounen-ai. non-humourous. one-shot.


_He knew what was coming. Knew what he was going to say._

_But he clung to the last and final hope. That it wouldn't have to be this way._

_Then, when the words formed themselves, the last hope fled. He felt as if his heart had bled._

"_Yuushi."_

_No._

"_You know this is it."_

_Anything but that._

"_Goodbye, Yuushi."_

_His heart._

"_It was good to know you."_

_The pain, his heart was bleeding from the inside, a dull throbbing pain... He looked up, into the impassive eyes staring back at him._

_Atobe stepped forward, and gave him a quick hug. But he had turned numb, numb to the bone. Almost too numb to feel the touch of his smooth skin._

_He stayed where he was. And he was still standing there when Atobe had gone. It began to drizzle slightly. The air was damp. Then, when the thunder started to roll, and the first crack of lightning came, Yuushi moved his feet. His usual graceful gait was lost. He trudged home. Slowly. Getting soaked each step of the way._

Atobe had started reading romance novels lately. It seemed that he was finally beginning to tire of Shakespeare… After all, he had every sonnet, tragedy, comedy, and romance memorized. Word for word.

Casually, his eyes strayed to the thick leather-bound book on his lap. He always did feel relaxed after work. Soothed. The book he was now holding had caught his eye with the warm brown earthiness of its leathern cover. It seemed to be a compilation of short stories… and according to the storekeeper, had been very popular indeed…Curiously, the author of the book shared his name with a certain friend of his, back in his junior high days. Yuushi. Well, it was not an uncommon name, but the coincidence was interesting.

Lifting his hand in one smooth, fluid, movement, Atobe turned the cover over.

_For a special person that was never gone from my heart._

_Waiting in the cold._

Till he had arrived into her life, she had always had an empty hole, somewhere in her heart. Then, he came. He came and took that space. She became a whole person.

It started when she'd transferred over from her old secondary school, to a new one. Armed with her violin, she had visited one of the school's many music rooms.

He had been there. Playing. Playing better than any of the music masters. With more beautiful expression. With deeper melody and lingering notes. The old-fashioned melody was changed beyond recognition in tone. Transformed into the high and sweet song sung by the larks. Backed with the deep and lovely notes of a melodic cello.

Maybe it was around that time, when she began to fall deeply, and irrevocably…in love.

And it was before she had glimpsed a look of the stranger.

And when she did, her heart skipped a beat. Because it wasn't just his music that was beautiful. He himself was beautiful. More beautiful even than the music. Without flaws, perfection in human form. His expressive eyes went to her heart. From that moment, she was his, and his alone to do as he pleased with.

Yet he did not seem to understand. Merely smiled, and was kind.

It seemed foolish for a teenage girl, to declare herself 'in love'. And yet she knew, that it was the real thing. Not a delusion she had fooled herself into believing.

After a while, her adoration seemed to win him over.

She began to spend every free minute chatting, discussing music, listening to the other grumble… Or just sitting together, in peaceful silence. Relaxing in the warmth of his company.

_That was how it began._

She had always known things weren't going to last. But she clung to it. Every second of every day she spent with him. Separation had been inevitable, but she refused to believe it, till the very last moment. Still, in her heart, she wouldn't, no, _didn't_ believe that he would actually leave her. Yet, in the end, the words confirming the truth fell, fell from his lips and broke on the asphalt ground below, tinkling and echoing through her head.

"Ann."

_No._

"You know that this is it."

_Anything but that._

"Goodbye, Ann…"

"It was good to know you."

He stepped forward quickly. Too quickly. And gave her one last embrace. And much too soon, the contact was over. The last chance she would have, to feel her skin against his. Her heart beating in time to his.

Over.

Gone.

She regretted not being able to enjoy it fully. It was a total waste not to be aware of the last time her skin would rub against his velvet smoothness. Her heart was too filled with pain for her to fully realize what was happening. She stood there standing. Till the first drops of rain began to fall, as if in sympathy for her sorrow. She waited. Waited for her tears to fall.

None came.

She waited. Waited for him to come back.

He never did.

Then, she started walking. Slowly. Then faster, and faster. Running away from the place of pain.

Away from the silky voice repeating in her head.

"Goodbye, Ann…"

A scream ripped from her throat.

_No, please. Stop saying that…_

And when she reached the safety of her room at home, the first drops of tears tinkled gaily on the dark blue tiles.

With the pain reaching ever deeper into her heart.

_And that was how it ended._

Yuushi.

It was him.

_Yuushi…_

_I didn't want to leave you. Believe me. I had no choice… You knew what would happen when we started this relationship. I'm so sorry…For hurting you…_

_Forgive me…Yuushi…_

It was raining again. Gently, the raindrops alighted on his window pane. Each drop to mimic the teardrops now leaving their mark, upon the leather-bound book in his hand…

Author's note : Thank you Darkmage009 for commenting on the grammar errors. To the best of my ability, I have corrected them. )

This story was dedicated to pinksnow, the Oshi-Ato author who has touched my heart time and time again.


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